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Cycena <3.
i'm your soul.

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I'm a girl who ONLY love myself.
Oh yes, I love Adrian Chong too, :D

strike out.

I want you
I wanna be rich too

hearts talking.

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alternative exits.

my dearie
my friend
my friend
my puppy

my days, not yours.

June 2008
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December 2010
February 2011

thank you.

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Saturday, February 12, 2011

i always thought that you can be the one i want.
i always thought that you could change.
by giving one chance , two chance and many further more chances.
i put in all my love to hold this relationship going.
But you use all the strength of yours to push this relationship down.
In this relationship , all you have given me is FULL of LIES.
after lieing , still down here lieing to me.
does lieing gives you a reason to live.or do you have any fetish in it?.
Friends and Families ask me not to be like a fool to stay by your side.
At first , i din bother.now i can tell you friends are important in my eyes.
you are no longer the first piority but they will be the first.
i cannot imagine how am i going to live with ur PACKS OF LIES together.
i cannot be back what i used to be.
the one who will be the most stupid person like a fool to help you in everything you need.
In our love , i gave enough , & everything.
From today ownwards , i should stop it all.

12:46 PM

Sunday, December 12, 2010

everytime when i try my very best to be a good girlfriend . Somehow i feel that i fail to .but all my friends din think so.
Everytime when you say that i am worthless . I thought awhile and i get what you mean.i know that i am making myself to be like this.

Countless time you make mistake , from big to biggest and worst.yoou didn't even try to amend it.not even try to do anything to it.just hanging it over there.
You loved to lie.
You loved to say sorry with no meanings.
what does all this mean?.
i really dun understand.

from the day u went into army from the start.
remember what you told me?.
you say when you end your army you will marry me.
now i dun even have a mindset to grow old with you seriously.
you only make me feel that this relationship is going to fall in no time.
no longer sweet , no longer lasting anymore.
cos in my mind it only contains your lies and the fake mask on your face.

Last time when i first know you , and the now you is totally different.
sometimes i jus somehow realise our feelings towards each other is fading.
Because now ,
you can love other girl easily.

Baby , you know i somehow miss those feelings you gave me in the past which i cant even feel it now.
i really dun understand what are you thinking.
and what you really want seriously.

Now i slowly realise actually friends are already enough.


11:51 AM

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

You are once the boyfriend i loved so much.
You are once the boyfriend i sacrifice for everything.
You are once the sweetest boyfriend i ever had.
You are once the boyfriend i always seen the best.
You are once the boyfriend that loves me more than anything.
You are once the boyfriend whom your body from the head to toes all belong to me.
You are once the boyfriend who will never throw me alone and left me crying there.
You are once the boyfriend who will rather meet me than anyone else.
You are once the boyfriend who does everything and belongs only to me.
You are once the boyfriend i trusted so much.
You are once the boyfriend who never make me cried so madly before.
You are once the boyfriend who will love me the most.

Now i realise there is nothing real.is all fake!
i want to hate you.but i cant.
i want to forget but i cant.
i want to pretend that nothing happen but i cant.

i still love you but i cant love you as much as before even though i promise to restart all over with you.

but i will do the best gf that you will never find flaws in me.
you will never know how hurtful it feels like to be in my situation right now.


1:16 PM

Sunday, November 28, 2010

why things became like this?really so confused .
i am having headache and spinning right now.
Can i know?.i am feeling unwell now.
Am i still the one ?. i am not sure .
does your kisses meant something?
or just nothing?.
i doubt.

9:28 AM

Saturday, November 27, 2010

I want to think no more.
I want to hate you.
I want to avoid.
I want to forget.
But how?.Its a year , not a month.
when we meet it seems nothing happening.
it seems normal.its makking me more and more confused.
Each and everytime i want to cry , i held on.
i will just pretend there is nothing happen.
You are not beside me this time for so long.

I thought maybe i leave something will change.
you said that you will love me more better than before.
is it so?.i dun think so.Countless time i try to keep myself busy with my stuffs.
i cant seriously.i dun even know what are we now.

I can get over you are once the guy i loved so much.
i cannot believe that i treat you so good yet you can maybe just pretend like is a must?.You loved her i believe.

Joey says that i love you too much already so it makes me to becoming like this.
i cant change my mouth that i need to call you by name.
i already used to everything and used staying at your house.

you say you want to restart with me.
can i know how?.
by like this?.
i really dun know seriously.
why not you teach me?

Once upon a time you told me that you wun be like my ex bfs throw me aside and walked a short rs.
yes , you did walked long together with me.but so many things happen between us.
Looking back those post that i had made , is always sweets with sugar.nt bitter at all.

My heart still have you.how about you?.
if i had a chance i will prefer not to step into this rs so deeply and put so much into it.but is too late , i already have stepped into it deeply.

i always want to proudly say i have a bf who loves me so much,
proudly say that my bf dote on me alot,
proudly say that you are always my one and only.
proudly announced that you will never leave me.
But now i dun have the strength for it.


8:21 PM

8:21 PM

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Look back to the past.
From the start when i know you.
i am always the girl that you wanted .listening to whatever you want and everything.
i am always the girl who helps you wash your clothes at times.
i am always the girl who will give you money when you needed.
i am always the girl who sleep at your side so soundly.
i am always the girl who eat mac with you in the midnight.
i am the girl who done so many things for you as your gf for this 1 yr plus when you are in army.

i admit in the past i am the most
-most in everything.
i love you more than i love my parents seriously.

You are the first guy for everything i had.
i loved you for who you are.
poor or rich without saying much.

if things din happen till today like this i will still prefer to restart with you and just lead a life and do what a girlfriend should do.
but things aint like this.i know i am a very soft hearted girl.
Maybe i am used to be loved by you thats why,
but now i think you can give your love to her den.
anyway hope you can have a good ending with her,and your wish will come true. :)

although i still dun understand why.

8:59 AM