Sunday, September 27, 2009

Cycena feels so tired.............

Head spinning like no tommorow.feeling so stressed up!.@@
My cable is not with me.because i left it at my work place/so sorry readers alright?
i will get my photos up soon^^.
Hope tommorow everything go smooth.
Baby just left my house and back to his camp.sadded.
This feel days am feeling very stress.just want to work.and nothing else.
I really dun wish to see my mother working three jobs.is very tiring.everyday she has to work.
whenever i think of this i am very stress!.hope i can have a better cert to lighten her burdens and work.
feeling so messed in my heart.
But baby promised me that once he work he will give me money to help cover my mum expenses.
so i hope that will be true.:)
Just want my mum to be happy with no stress.

Yesterday went singing as i insisted.went to baby's last time workplace and sang over there.
My mum booked the room is from 8-11.but we extended the time after that.
and its because..............My mum's gang is with her.LOL.she dance non stop with her fav friend ginnis.Two of them dancing like as if they were in club?.gosh man.was stunned when i came back to the room after buying my aston western food.and chicken wings too as baby insisted having.haha.when i reached the room , ginnis and my mother dancing like nobody's business.they shake their hips.==.but seeing my mom so happy , i also feel happy.but when she was eating , halfway she also can be able to stand up and continue for the dancing while she is holding that packet of her hokkien mee in her hands?==.i was afriad it might spill and i ask baby shift to my place.LOL.but baby is not that stupid .he stopped my mum and took her packet down ..all of us crazy till nearly 2am and cabbed back to my house.home sweet home^^.

Labels: Cycena .pieces that speaks ;

♥ 6:08 AM

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Cycena is craving for study.i wan study badly!!:(.
Just called my grandma up.asking her to help me to ask my dad.
as i really cannot stand the lifestyle i am having now.
working everyday is not the way i am gonna spend for the rest of my life.
if its gonna be like this , i will go crazy !.@.@

lastly , i just want to say i want to study!. :(.
if time could turn back how great would it be!.hais!.

Labels: study

♥ 1:33 AM

Monday, September 21, 2009

Baby booked out on saturday.he pick me up from work.sweets sweets^^.
After that went home , both of us bathe finish and rest at home.lazy to be out.
next day , baby dun need book in because monday is public holiday.teehees.
Accompanied him 3 days.sorry baby that i neglect you when i was talking to rynn :(
i think i neglected everyone.lols.Baby dun angry larhhs.><
Just Now baby left my house .how i wish he can just stay beside me always.
But too bad he needs to serve NS.:(.quitting job very soon already.
Finding Job again soon toos :).

Baby , thanks for this 8 months staying by my side.
really love having you with me :).<3

Labels: i miss my baby ;(

♥ 4:56 AM

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Mum says that my face getting squarish already after having this job.oh well , as those people who msn me in the afternoon would be wondering isn't it for me to go for my lunch?.But the fact is i didn't.i have always stay here regardless is lunch or what.one day i only had one meal or the most is two meal.morning or night or just night .thats all.Now my home treadmill with a carpet allows me to jog tonight already.so happy. :).i want to have a better figure which can make myself having more confidence regardless of which party i am in or which event i am going for.that has always been my dream :)

Now in my mind , i just want to pray hard that i can get to study again.but . who is going to give me the money to do that?.Am i going to slog for the rest of my life by working?.and the pay i am having now with me is very basic.if i ever had a family , the pay is not even enough for me unless my future husband earns alort?.i am now learning to be thrifty.its really hard.but i will try to :)

Baby , you seems to be nort like the past.
you hardly informed me wherever you are.
i do not know why i feel this way.
or maybe is i think too much about it?.
Baby , i am now very stressed up already , so dun let me worry for you alright?.
i still remember in the past , i always like to repeat one sentence in my blog.
the sentence is , if you dun love me anymore , just tell me.
at least i know the truth & truth dun hurt me at all.
A truth always let me learn a lesson.
A truth always let me know what is right and wrong.
A truth guide me to a better future ahead.
Truth is always better than lies.

Baby , Now i realise my love is deep enough for you.
thats why i will prefer to avoid quarrels with you.
whenever you say sorry to me , its just a word with five letters .
but you know what i am thinking?.
sometimes you let me feel that i am drifting far from you.
whenever i thought of it , i hate myself.
why did i change so much?.i dun wan our love to drift.
But no matter what , i will never leave you.
here i state a promise to my readers and everyone who is viewing my blog .
the promise is , i will never leave adrian chong wei guan unless he do.
Cycena is as faithful as ever.thats her character that she cannot change.
Baby !i wan hug you.hugging you makes my heart feel warmth.
you are all i needed :)
050109.this date will last ;)

Labels: Let me once believe in love again.(:

♥ 8:42 PM

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Cycena's chinese sign

Chinese Sign: Goat

The receptive, gentle, and compassionate Goat (sometimes called Sheep) is the eighth sign of the Chinese Zodiac. These quiet and sometimes shy people have enormous compassion, an artistic eye, and emotions close to the surface. They often feel especially close to their families.

Money somehow comes to the Goat. Often other people give it to them. As artists, they can have patrons. A Goat is a great guest and someone powerful people enjoy having around. Goats enjoy nice things and are not opposed to treating themselves.

This is not a person who likes confrontation. A Goat would rather have someone else take the lead and make a decision. Of course, you might hear about it if your decisions do not work out to Goat's comfort.

It is a good thing that Goat is naturally lucky because of their peaceful nature and kind heart. Romantic Goats need a partner who is willing to listen and has patience with mood swings, indirect answers, and occasional self-pity. Goat needs loyal friends who are steady and reliable. Goat people are well worth all the time and attention. With love, approval, and admiration, a Goat can blossom in any direction their creative talent takes them.

Positives:

Creative, artistic, cultured, kind, gentle, intelligent, sensitive.

Negatives:

Indecisive, self-indulgent, dependent, insecure, ungrateful, wise

actually is quite true too ;)

♥ 8:52 PM

My boyfriend chinese sign.

Chinese Sign: Horse

The popular and active Horse is the seventh sign of the Chinese Zodiac. These natives are independent and cheerful types who genuinely enjoy people. They can also be quite headstrong and when angry and are apt to act without thinking things through.

These are the natural salespeople of the Chinese Zodiac. Their upbeat and physically magnetic nature combines with a love of thinking up new ideas. They love to help anyone and anything to get ahead, including themselves. Horses will do a good job. They want to succeed. Never underestimate a Horse native's power of persuasion.

In love, the Horse can be a heartbreaker. They are easily attracted and may manipulate or flirt in a way that is most seductive. Unfortunately, some Horses prefer to play and value freedom above commitment. A Horse must be mature to marry successfully.

This is a person who likes to have fun. Horses need physical activity and lots of variety. They are flexible people who do well with sudden changes and shifts of direction. People who like them must expect the same.

Horse has a large circle of friends but, ultimately, they walk alone. A Horse is going to follow their own path, running free ahead of the herd.

Positives:

Magnetic, vivacious, witty, independent, cheerful, refined, enduring.

Negatives:

Anxious, rude, selfish, volatile, impatient, vain, reckless.

Actually is quite true :)

Labels: baby i love you

♥ 8:48 PM

Today is another day of work.feeling so so tired.how i wish someone could just give me money for studies.hope my father will do that :(.Today i was damn furious as i have finally decided not to work in there anymore.i am so freaking fed up with those people that put mask to hide their evil faces.they look hypocrite to me.thats what i fucking hate the most.there is no point for me to spot what they have done and mistakes.they should know themselves clearer.jus talked with joe on the phone which is my boss also considered as friend , talked to him clearly and telling him that i am not working.i was thinking why he still has the cheek to ask me why?.nvm.i jus told him the reason is , i am here to work tgt as a company and not to make the company unhappy with my performance.isn't it?.and he gt no words to say and say is up to me.ya , for sure my decision is i am not going to work.its just that simple.

Sometimes i am wondering , why couples break?.why husband and wife divorce?.
i know its very hard to maintain.
i know it takes alot of effort to do it.
Baby , sorry that i entered your personal things.in future , regardless of your handphone , your msn or whatever i wun go touch it already ok?.
Once Upon a time , i did this.
But Once Upon a time , the trust flew away.
and once upon a time i know is not simple anymore.
thats Once Upon a time.

Baby , dun let my trust fade for you alright?.
you should know i love you .dun ever break my heart.
i believe u are different from those jerks i once know and once had even .

Labels: Let me once believe in love again.(:

♥ 9:28 AM

Monday, September 14, 2009

Today had dinner at new york :).was shocked that mum treated me.hahas!.
My life is been such a messed.now dhen i realise.sometimes i feel that i really hard to breathe.
i need money badly , seriously.without money , nothing really works.
Now i realise the importance.having much to say , this world is realistic.
Now i just want to work properly and smartly in this job i am having now.
be it i quit , or i continue.whatever it is i will take it.
I still dun really quite think this job suits me.but i will try my best to yearn for experience.

Baby , i missing you much.
hope another saturday is coming soon.so i can get to see you@.@
lastly , i pray and hope my father will sponsor me for studies.cos i really want to badly.:(
i was wondering.am i going to work and work jus for the rest of my life.
what my future will be like?.what am i supposed to do?.im so freaking confused.
sometimes when i thought of it , it really makes me wanna cry and i will feel headache soon :(.
i am so so so so so so so so so so so HEADACHE :(
hais.
Baby baby , You are always beside me.
you never fail to make my day happy.
you always think for me.
i m i s s y o u .:)

Labels: baby i love you.muackz.

♥ 8:01 AM

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Im back to blog again!.hahs.Baby just left my house cause he needs to book in already :(.
sobsob!Now i am missing him like no tommorow again.sadded.hope he is not in army!.
den i wun have to miss him that badly already right?:x.lol.
Taken this photo in the bus with baby when on the way to chongpang yesterday.
because i was busy updating my own photo jus nw and forget this , my bf reminded me.
so i update it now also same right?.
haha.i am sorry bitbit :x.

Baby , although its already 8 month plus .but yet i feels that is more than that.
it seems like 8 years.
whether is sad , happy or what ever it is , u are always beside me.
you held me so high and yet u never let me fall before.
You let me forget what is the taste of being hurt by others like.
You let me forget how those jerks dump me in the past.
You let me forget that i was once a loner.
You let me forget all those pains i ever had.
Baby , really thanks .for all these months you had done for me.
iloveyou. :)

Labels: Baby ; baby ~

♥ 5:41 AM

Saturday, September 12, 2009

As usual.every saturday boyfriend came my house to stay overnight at my house. :_)

before i saw him i was missing him damn damn much.much till words cannot be described.

Baby come pick me up at choa chu kang from woodland and dhen we headed down to yishun for my ham ham cage.hah.bought the cage with many things for ham ham to play.this is what baby had promise me for a week to get me the bigger cage.:p.

Jus woke up and now seating down here as my baby is lying down playing his psp ==.lol.

Yesterday night when i was on my way home.mum called me when i was at chong pang.

My stomach was feeling quite unwell for yesterday night.and dhen yet i recieve a very bad news from my mum through phone.is about my job matter.

I hate people saying FREAKING FAKE WORDS.

they use U turn left and right and den need to go through my mum and den to me.

Why cant they jus confront infront of me as they are my boss?.

yesterday i just realise.actually from the start they didnt want me to be there.

Jus because they give my mum face so i have to work there?.

Just because of one word im there.

what is this?.i was damn damn furious ok.

i decide not to work during the end of september already.

i will jolly well take my pay and jus fuck off from this fucking company.

Freak u .

Labels: Ilovemybaby

♥ 11:26 PM

Friday, September 11, 2009

Sorry readers.i realise i am damn neglecting this blog i am having.but i promise tommorow will be a very sumptous blog ;x.LOL.Because tommorow when my Bitbit book out i wan take pic pic wit him. ;x.LOL.alright , these few days been damn tired seriously.my eye bags are showing.thats a very serious case which is showing i really did not have any good sleep this few days.Now i know without a family how does it feels like to be standing alone.it feels so hurting.haiis.

Sometimes i misses my father .dreamt of him for many times.he appeared but only in my dream.

Maybe its because i am always so stubborn to not know about his words towards me and neglect him striaght and create so much stuffs.but maybe he does not treat me as his daughter anymore?.maybe bahs.;(

But i know i stiue have my mummy and baby beside me and my sisters and my close friends who care and love for me is always there for me.thanks all of you.i wun let anyone of you fall.anything i can help , i will try my best to help. :)

Baby , this time im gonna say sorry again.but i dun know hw many times can i say sorry to you.maybe one day you just leave me and i cant get the chance to say sorry to you anymore.although when i am typing this post , im controlling my tears and try to hold on to it but i failed.

Many times u told me to break with you if i am willing to , but i always say i really want to be with you.the word break does not even come across my mind before.

you always say i am just like a kid .cry cry cry and cry thats all i know.

yes , thats all i know.baby , if i dun love you , i wouldnt cry.i wouldnt even voice anything out to you.

Baby , so sorry i neglect for your everything.

i neglected your love towards me.

i neglected your feelings towards me.

i change myself suddenly to another person which you didn't expected.

i treated you coldly.

you know i also wanted to know all these reason badly for why i have became like this.

i dun wan our love to fade.

i wan our love to increase each and everyday.

so close like how we use to be.

so close like the past.

My heart feels so pain when you are sad.

My heart feels even more pain if something ever happen to you.

When aunnie aunty ask me : Cycena , do you confirmed that adrian is the guy that you want to spend your life time with?.

i hestitated awhile .

but my heart already have the answer.

the answer is yes.i wanna be with him and even for life.

Baby , i loved the way you combed my hair.

i loved the way you hug me in the nights to sleep.

i loved the way you smile at me which makes me feel so warmth.

i loved the way you sms me.

i loved the way for your everything.

i am already used to it having you by my side.

i cannot imagine one day you were not by my side.

baby , promise that i wun even have the chance to imagine alright?

i love you unconditionally.

050109.this date will last :).love you baby. :)

Labels: im sorry. ;(

♥ 4:18 AM