Its Going to new year soon!.Many things like happen so suddenly in one weeks time.Maybe just like what my mum say.i seems to be like her when she is young.she chosen wrongly for her freedom of her life , even for bet on marriage with my dad.she told me once not to be like her.But after all is still a choice of me.no one can force me for anything.this few days i dun seem to be myself.i felt so super depressed.i felt that another spirit is inside me.why love tends to be so hurtful.everytime when i fall in love , i just fell in it.
Yesterday went prawning after my baby booked in.but he didn't which i don know.not because i am prawning.is because i am talking to my mum and rico.yes , i owed him an explanation.i really do.i hate to seat down at the table without speaking.but i dunno what i should say.i feel so uneasy till now.i am really not myself,.yesterday my bf took his fren's bike down and saw me seating down with rico .his furious face makes my heartbeat run faster than ten times.after the first incident that i hurt my boy , i wun want to repeat again.i hate myself for not being me.
i know you said that you will treat me better.but who can ensure this?.i feel like i dun even have a choice of mine.i dun even feel that i can say anything.i really don.all i feel is just like between you and my mum.Once you told me that Money can buy a person's body , can buy everything but not love.But without money , you cannt even start a family with the one you love.everything is connected with money.But i am not like other girls who only think about money.i am not like other girls who carry only branded and not others.you gave me attitude as an when u like when u felt moody , even i dun have frens doing all this.which makes me feel that why should tolerate.
you said i treat frens like shit.do i?.if it does , why there are frens still following with me.to me i felt so stress.stress till even i left my key on the door for hours without even realising it.it feels so shity.i hate that kind of feeling.i sat down on the chair for 1hr45min without knowing time passes so fast.i feel like i am going to fly.you said so many words, so many sentences but after all in your heart i know that you felt very angry and dun know what to do about me just like hw y mum is feeling.you once told me feelings , you said that feelings can come easily , but do you know is not because of money than feelings will come?.maybe all the while you have been like this towards your past gf.but sorry i am not.totally different.
i am Cycena .and it will never change.you said i am rude to frens , or shity to frens , its ok.as long as i know i treat my friends well.its alright.you want to say i make u pay like an idiot , you jus go think about it , i did not request for your payments.Joey brought a fone from you.maybe 200 bucks to you is just 2 cents.to us , it can be used for many ways.you do things without informing.walk away as an when u like.give attitude like nobody business.show faces without saying why.just because of your irresponsible , i have to get scolded from Joey .it makes me damn pissed off.
You say i have done nothing to you as a fren or even for you as a fren.maybe yes i shoud say since you insist on thinking that way.thats why i prefer to kept my mouth shout when i was sitting infront of you.be it wrong or right , i wun say anything.because i dun think that i wish to say anything.Once you said that you dislike my bf , and you make me feel like i also must be the same .it makes me feel that i dun have the right to choose & everything is jus under you.i hate it.
My father once said :Girl ah , find boyfriend , rich , handsme , ugly , fat or what is ok.even if is poor , as long as he treats you better than anything is ok already.and make sure he dotes on you.i will always remember this.even a guy with money , they flirt and just throw money to you , what for being your husband.you are not gonna be happy even.waiting for a person is painful, i know .is up to u whether u think that person is worth or not.in singapore , out of 10 , 1 will be waiting , but 9 will just prefer to let it go.
Everyone in this world deserve a chance & Everyone have their road they prefer to choose.
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